The beauty of a Shadow

THE BEAUTY OF A SHADOW

This morning when you wake up, can you do me a favor? Before you go to your comfort room, before you brush your teeth, before you comb your hair and look onto your Smartphone, before you fix your bed and do the first thing you need to do; will you stop for a while? And stay on the bed where you are sitting right now. That’s it! Let him gaze upon you just for a little time, because this is the moment that he likes seeing you; your eyes, nose, lips and everything in you. Yes! Include those moles, pimples and warts…. Ohhh-- even your dark spot, eye bags and your birthrights/marks. Let him captures your beauty and savor it for a moment because this is the perfect view he has ever seen and I know he would be satisfied; just enough to bring this all day long. You know what? You always put a smile on his face so that’s why; can you do it every day?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, as you got off from your bed I saw you looking on the mirror, you stared enough in yourself with a wish of “if I were just…. I will be better”. When you left the room, you brought the thoughts of wanting to be someone who’s greater and better than yourself, and as I watched you eating with your friends, someone asked each one of you a question that broke your silence. “If you were given a chance to choose a role in movies, what would it be?” just as your friends; you answered her with the name of a main character yet that question remained in your mind until now.

“Who doesn’t want to be a main character anyway? The coolest role centered in the story, always on the spotlight, the most, the wanted, beautiful, the winning role and the one who shines brightly among the others”. That’s the thought you have in your mind. That desired… Is the desire I saw before I’ve seen it today. Just like them you also desire that role. That desire of wanting to be seen, desire of being appreciated, the desire of getting applause from the audience and the desire of perfection. I’ve seen it; yes, until now.

I see everyone keep on proving themselves; I see the competition of wanting to be great; they keep on doing their best to rise up to the top and when they fail, frustration happens. I see that their success based on how many achievements they have: diplomas, money, and businesses. I see how they put their worth on the number of likes and followers on social media. I saw it-- and I know He also did. He sees that heart eager for perfection but never appreciates the grace and mercy. He sees those eyes that focused on the stage and spotlight but never look on what is “behind” the scene. He sees the desire for greater things but despised the small things. He saw people, which often forgot the real meaning of beauty, and was easy for them to lose sight to the things that are unseen. He saw everyone saying, they are satisfied but failed to show it. People who shows that they are okay but failed to prove it. No matter how they try to hide it they can’t conceal the truth to themselves, but---

What does it really mean to be a main character? What does it really meant about being great? What does it really mean to be beautiful? Is it having a pretty face? Having lots of talent? Or is it to be perfect in everything you do and not committing any mistakes? Why is it that most parents are proud of their children when they get the highest grade or excel in every area but disappointed when they failed? Why do people look down to each other when they make mistakes? Why do people need to compare when they don’t have to? And why do we lose focus on what really matters? These questions came up not just on me but also on you. Yet I know that the answer for such questions is to look again on his eyes and to go back again to the day he first saw you. He has seen it. He saw and he sees.

Before Paul became great apostle, he was Saul. He saw what he did. He was a persecutor. He was also the reason why Christian suffered. We called him a villain because of what he did. We saw Saul as antagonist but Jesus saw him as protagonist in this story. We also know Peter as one of the great disciples, who preached in thousands of people, he healed many sick; he was also one of those who turned the world upside down. But he is also Simon. Who denied Jesus three times, he was fearful, the one who struggle in faith and forgiveness (see mat. 18:21). We knew him as a fisherman but He called him as fishers of men. This other one may not be so known among the others. He only had a few scenes with the master unlike peter who was always present in every scene. We don’t know much about this person or his works. What we only knew was; he was the one who leaned on to Jesus’ bosom and the only one who’s present during the time of crucifixion. We don’t notice him but he recognizes him as John the beloved: the disciple whom Jesus loved. We don’t know the reason but John finds favors in His eyes. Another man was Jonathan. He must be a main character because he was the son of a king. We expected him to be on the spotlight and we thought he would be the next king but unfortunately, he was the supporting role. He should be the one who will replace King Saul. He could choose to be on King Saul side. He has faith and bravery like David (see 1 sam14:4-15) so He had all the rights to be the lead role. He could but he chose not. He chose to support David no matter what. He chose to be sidekick of the hero than to be the hero himself. He remained loyal to David even in exchange was to disobey his parents and could cost his life. He embraced his role until the end. For us we saw him as just a friend of David but for him he saw his fidelity, he saw him not just a sidekick but one of the most admired figures in the story. --The blind, the demon possessed the lame, the paralyzed, and the man with the leprosy, the Samaritan woman, the bleeding woman and the others. They are not so popular compared to the names that were mention. They don’t have the names. We just call them according to what we saw; their disabilities. We don’t know about their lives, what we know was their defects and their limitations. We called them as an extra in the story but not to Jesus. What Jesus saw on them was hope, hope that could show to the generation. He saw a miracle; for us to believe. He saw an opportunity so he can perform his glory for us to be in awe. He saw witnesses to spread the good news to us. Yes, we don’t know them at all but they made a big impact to this world. They are not just part of the story. They are the story. And lastly; Judas. One of the disciples of Jesus. We knew him for the kiss and betrayal of Jesus. Everything that we knew about him was only the bad things like he was greedy and a thief. His life story ends with tragedy. We see him as annoying character in the story; we see him as people who don’t deserved to be one of disciples, but to Jesus-- he chose him from the very beginning. He saw something in Judas that we didn’t see. He saw what Judas will do in the future even the night when he betrayed Jesus, but Jesus still called him a friend (see mat. 26:50). Jesus knew from the beginning but still he chose Judas. He trusted Judas enough that he appointed him to be in charge of moneybag though we called him a thief. We never saw Jesus deserted Judas even if he knew that he would be the one that would cause his suffering. He treated Judas as really part of his family. We saw Judas as the one who messed up the story, but to Jesus…. His betrayal was seen as setting in the events that led to crucifixion and resurrection that brought salvation to humanity. Jesus did not condemned him, he just give him grace when he said “my friend, go ahead and do what you have come for”. For Jesus, He saw him as the darkness that allows the stars to shine.

He sees Saul and Simon as Paul and peter. He also saw peter and Paul as Saul and Simon. What the world would throw and treat as garbage Jesus treats them as treasure in his kingdom. He has seen them from the very beginning and he has seen you too from the very beginning. The world may see you as a shadow; unnoticed, unknown. They might see you as an extra or supporting role, a small part of the story. They may not recognize your works; the crowds may not praise you because you are behind the camera. They may not appreciate you because of the failures they saw in you. But what He saw and what He see is greater than what they saw and what they see in you. I know, there would be times that you’ll get weary because of not being recognized by the crowds, there are struggles that you wanted to be upfront and you do no longer want the hidden role. Just like the disciples where an argument arose among them asking, “who was great?” to the point they asked their master. They once desired to be famous and to be on the highest rank. I don’t know how it started but maybe because they lose their focus along the way. Their eyes were now looking on the crowd and not on the purpose. Their vision was clear before, but they let the voice of the world blind them. The desire of pleasing the audience of one was replace by the praise and applause of people. So Jesus secured their insecurity with this answer “whoever becomes simple again will rank high in God’s kingdom and whoever wants to be great must become a servant”. His words silenced their proud heart; for Jesus the meaning of great is different to what we know and what we see. To be great is to be at the lowest rank. For us, we don’t see the beauty of being a servant, being a hidden piece, being a supporting or extra and being a shadow of the one who is great. We are longing for the fame, for the approval. You wish that someday you too will be the leading role, that the stage and spotlight will be yours. That sometimes you look on yourself as small because you considered the opinions of many. You keep doing everything just to reach the standard made from the lie of the enemy. You feared to commit mistakes just for you to be accepted by others forgetting how special he made you. You allow the voices of this world to identify you that you no longer see your true identity; just like them…. you can’t see clearly the beauty of the shadow.

We see shadow as merely a black object. We see nothing special to it. Sometimes it is creepy because of his texture. Shadow exists but mostly ignored (not being totally visible). They are part of the picture but neglected. But the truth is shadow plays an important role. Yes, it exists because it has a role. Do you know what makes a shadow? It is when the light is there, when the sun is shining everything has its shadow. We see our shadow when we are in the direct light. The shadow will not exist when we are in the dark without light. What do I mean here? Shadow is an evidence that there is a light. Shadow is a reflection of an image. Someone told me that a shadow is a twin, an imitation where you go and what you do; it copies everything. Light and shadow is are twin. When where is light there’ll also the shadow. Without the visible shadow it means there is no light and when there’s no light we don’t see beauty in our surrounding. The shadow is what makes the beauty become real. The shadow also known as a shelter from danger or observation according to Merriam-webster. we see the shadow as nothing but without it I think beauty will not exist as Tanikazi said “we find beauty not in the thing itself but in the patterns of shadows, the light and the darkness. That one thing against another creates…. Were it not for shadow, there would be no beauty”. Shadow is beauty behind the glamorous we see. Maybe you don’t see your beauty because you’re looking on the small things you have, just like the story in the bible (matthew 25:14-25) you take it for granted the small things, missing out the greater things behind that small ones. But Jesus teaches us the small things also matter.  “I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different but similar parts arranged and functioning together..... God has put all parts of our body together in the way that he decided his best.”(1 cor. 12:14-18) in his eyes you’re not just nothing; you are something that creates greater. In his eyes you are beautiful and desirable. To him you are seen, you are appreciated. Without you there’s no great story will happen. You are truly beautiful. let his word secured you today “to me, you are very dear, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4).“You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (psalms 139). I know; you have already heard this many times. Everything that I wrote here you might already know, you have read it many times in a different book what they say and what I say was just the same. This just a basic but this basic is what you need. You need to hear it again. Again and again. Until this truth will make a home in your heart, until it dwelt and not just to visitted. Maybe today after you end reading this blogs you will finally see beauty of the shadow but I also know that many days shall passed it will be forgotten but in case you forgot again let this word be your prayer “rabbi, I want to see”. And as God opens your eyes, let him stare on you with love and secured you as you look at him and find your beauty in his eyes…

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor even touched, but just felt in the heart”. –Hellen keller

As I woke up today, as my eyes opened. I smiled. Oh I’m staring now the beauty that I’ve never seen before. I will be still and gaze for a while to this beauty as I’m hearing the sweet whisper telling “a little longer please just simply be with me”. I don’t know him a lot but one thing that I do know I was blind but now I see…

Notes:

Links:https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/05/28/in-praise-of-shadows-tanikazi/

Inspired by the series of she was pretty